Archive for the ‘Featured’ Category

The Let's All Write A Novel Thread

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

I took a pile of books to my local Oxfam bookshop recently and, in a fit of counter-productivenesss, for every 10 books I donated I bought a couple of replacements.

Amongst the books I bought were some Penguin’s from the 1940’s/50’s and are true pulp fiction – the literary equivelant of a film noir.

I’d love to be able to write something more creative than a staff appraisal casting the subordinate in a surprisingly positive light, so I thought I’d suggest the old GCE English Literature, wet playtime game we used to play a couple of decades ago, but without such a draconian set of rules or Mr Harrison going on about how things weren’t as good as twonce they were..

Anyhow, in the style of a bad thriller novel, I thought I’d suggest we all take a few sentences or a paragraph each to see what we turn up..

So I’ll start then you lot take over!

The wind blew in from all directions.  He pulled his coat-collar up, took a drag from the cigarette he’d just lit and marched across the court-yard.  His faithful spaniel scampering ahead,he disappeared into the night.  Things would never be the same again…


Sky Sports' Klassic Chris Kamara

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

Kammy is a reporter on Sky Sports’ Soccer Saturday where he often reports in vision live from football grounds during games.  Anchored by Jeff Stelling, Kammy is known for getting over excited during his reports – his catchphrase is “Unbelievable Jeff!”.

Here are some of his best bits!

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The Ralph McTell Trial from French & Saunders in 1990

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009

I only saw this sketch when it was first broadcast in 1990 on the BBC, but it has stuck with me…not sure the impact is the same, but basically….  {{{cue wavey lines}}}}

Ralph McTell is put on trial for selling a guitar book without any fretboard finger markings…and the star witnesses for the prosecution are Mark Knopfler, Lemmy, David Gilmour (of Pink Floyd fame), Mark King and Gary Moore.

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Wouldn’t it be great for this to be remade with Dave Grohl, Kelly Jones, etc!!!

The Blogs What I Read Regularly

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009

As well as blogging myself, I regularly read other blogs that just interested me.

These top three I always read and have done for ever are:

1.0 Random Acts of Reality which is written by a Paramedic based in London

2.0 The Policeman’s Blog which was stated by a UK-based office who later emigrated to work as a Canadian officer

3.0 Iain Dale’s Blog by, erm, Iain Dale who is a political blogger.

Recently I discovered Nee Naw, another paramedic blog, and so far this is my favourite post:

Address: PIZZA WORLD TAKEAWAY, 200 HIGH STREET, NE20
Diagnosis:  CALLER STATES HE IS THE KING OF ENGLAND AND WISHES TO GO TO PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL.
Special Instructions: CALLER WILL WAIT INSIDE PIZZA SHOP AS HAS ORDERED A PIZZA.
From: LONDON AMBULANCE SERVICE
To:  METROPOLITAN POLICE SERVICE
Message: PLEASE CAN WE HAVE YOUR ASSISTANCE WITH MALE PSYCHIATRIC
PATIENT, POSSIBLY VIOLENT, STATING HE IS KING OF ENGLAND AND WISHING TO
BE TRANSPORTED TO PSYCH UNIT.
From:  MPS
To:  LAS
Message:  SORRY, NO POLICE AVAILABLE AT PRESENT.  WE ARE ON CHANGEOVER.
From: LAS
To:  MPS
Message:  NO WORRIES - APPARENTLY PATIENT HAS ORDERED PIZZA WHILE HE WAITS.
From: MPS
To:  LAS
Message:  NO ANCHOVIES FOR US PLEASE.
Twenty minutes later.
From: LAS
To:  MPS
Message:  PLEASE CANCEL.  PATIENT HAS RUNG BACK STATING PIZZA NOW READY.
IS TAKING BUS TO LOCAL HOSPITAL.
From:  MPS
To:  LAS
Message:  WE ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED.  OFFICERS WERE HUNGRY AND LOOKING
FORWARD TO MEETING KING OF ENGLAND.
Source: NEE NAW

Nee Maw May become a regular! :o )

The Snow is Finally Bad! Earls Barton is cut off…

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

I woke up today to find around 6 inches, or 15 cm, of snow in the yard! Wooo…

There seems to be a Plimsol Line when it comes to snow: below it everyone gripes about how we can’t run a rail network, that the councils don’t know how to grit the roads properly and so on.  Above it, Dunkirk Spirit and a sense of community arrives.

The main road throught the village (just on the right above), was completely unusable and so rather moan and gripe, people came out of their houses and cleared it all away.  The local florist had a delivery of fresh flowers from The Netherlands everyday and the delivery lorry couldn’t make it into the village proper, so everyone mucked in and helped Lee, the florist, by carrying his stock to the shop.

In a nearby farmer’s field, there are hundreds of kids and parents sliding down the hill and building the world’s largets snowballs!  Usually there is the distant hum of traffic and industry, but today there is only the noise of children’s laughter!

It is days like this I am really glad I left the big shiney city for rural Northamptonshire.

ITV are losing the plot

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

Lord Lew Grade must be looking down on his nephew, Michael Grade wondering what has gone wrong with the UK’s third main channel, ITV1.

My personal view of ITV1 is that, well, I don’t have one as I don’t really watch it anymore.  7-9.00pm every night is a non starter for me as all they show is soaps, the so-called documentaries they show leave you pining for the classic episodes of Survival and well, if there is something you want to watch, the picture quality is so poor it’s pointless watching.

I have freeview cable, Sky Plus and an traditional analogue ariel.  Surprisingly, despite having a widescreen tv, if I watch ITV1 at all, I generally watch in on analogue 4:3 as the digital 16:9 is so appalling!  Last night, however, I watched the Everton v Liverpool coverage on the Sky box and was horrified when in the middle of an Everton attack, the cut to adverts! For goodness sake….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  To make things worse, Everton scored when the ads were on. Doh!

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ITV used to be the lead commercial broadcaster in the UK – no longer! If I was an advertiser I would question whether to invest my marketing money with them!

Bakers Are Stupid? Cake Mistakes!

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

usb-cake-mistake

When a US guy went to his local bakery and asked whether they could make a cake based on a picture on his USB stick, they said yes.

Imagine the customer’s surprise when he picked the cake up and found this.  Rather than look at the picture on the stick, the baker had actually created a confectionary replica of the stick itself….

Like all good stupidness, it happens again and again.

Another  woman rangsa baker to order a cake for someone who is leaving work.

She told them to write ?”Best Wishes Suzanne?” and underneath that write ?”We will miss you?!”.

Here?’s the cake that was delivered:

The Snow In Earls Barton Isn't All That Bad!

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

I nipped out with my camera and took a shot down into my village, Earls Barton in Northamptonshire, just as the heavy snow arrived. 2nd Feb 2009.

More snowy pictures of Earls Barton are located here.

A Bit of Laurel & Hardy to Make Us Warm

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

It’s snowy, I have no job and I am freezing…so I’m watching this as it always makes me smiley and warm!

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The Paul Ross Canvas at Amazon.co.uk

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

Occasionally your faith is restored in manking when fun stuff like this happens.  I do hope Mr Paul Ross takes it in the friendly, amusing spirit it was meant!

Over on Amazon.co.uk you can buy this amazing Paul Ross Canvass.  This in itself may not be the amazing thing: what is, is how people have manipulated this item.

Look at the “Also Bought” Recommendation…then scroll down to the reviews.

My personal favourite is

“Don’t buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn’t stopped crying for a week.”

Go visit the item here!